Twilight Chatroom
by Roza Zammie Goode
Summary: This is all about the Twilight characters in their own chatroom. All the characters will probably make a appearance but obviously the main ones will always be there. Full summary insdie. Rated T but maybe M for later chapters. R
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The Twilight Chatroom

Bella: **freesias18**

Alice: **pixiefashion**

Rosalie: **2cool4u**

Edward: **108yearoldvirgin**

Emmett: **Emmett_the_Great**

Jasper: **civil-war-man**

_**Freesia18, pixiefashion, and Emmett_the_Great have logged on….**_

**freesia18: Hey **Alice, how was shopping today did you get anything good?

**pixiefashion: **Oh Bella, you should have been there, I found this amazing little dress that would have looked so cute on you.

**Emmett_the_Great: **Okay, ladies, no fashion talk while Emmett the Great is present.

**freesia18: **great?

**Emmett_the_Great: **Yes, Bellaroo I am great!

**Freesia18: **yeah Emmett, I'm just not seeing it.

**Emmett_the_Great: ***virtual pouty face* You wound me Bellaroo.

**Pixiefashion: Don't **worry about in Bella, he'll get over it in a couple minutes.

**Emmett_the_Great: **No I won't, you've hurt me deep Bella, this is something I will never forget.

**Freesia18: **dramatic much?

**Emmett_the_Great: **well I've never….

**Pixiefashion: **oh get lost Emmett, I'm not in the mood for your dramatics

**Emmett_the_Great: **why does everyone pick on Emmett?

**Freesia18: **why does Emmett talk in third person?

**Emmett_the_Great: **Emmett the great shall not respond until he is talked to with respect.

**Pixiefashion: **you'll be remaining silent for a long time "Emmett the great"

**Emmett_the_Great: **Emmett the Great is unresponsive

_**108yearoldvirgin and civil-war-man have logged on…**_

**Freesia18:** hey baby

**108yearoldvirgin: **heyBella, what has Emmett's panties in a twist?

**Pixiefashion: **Bella questioned his greatness and now he's acting like a five year old

**Civil-war-man: **so basically he's acting no different than any other day

**Freesia18: **haha, nice one jazz

**Emmett_the_Great: **how can you people treat me so? Emmett the Great shall leave you plebeians and hunt me some bear.

_**Emmett_the_Great has logged off….**_

**108yearoldvirgin: **seriously what was all that about?

**Freesia18: **I really have no idea

**Pixiefashion: **Emmett will be Emmett

**Civil-war-man: **scary thought

**Freesia18: **seriously, don't you guys think it's kinda mean to taunt Emmett like that?

**Pixiefashion: **nope

**Civil-war-man: **absolutely not

**108yearoldvirgin: **well maybe….

**Freesia18: **see Edward has a good heart

**108yearoldvirgin: **just kidding, I'm with alice and jazz

**Freesia18: **well fine then, keep acting like that and you'll end up being the 208 year old virgin

**Civil-war-man: **Oh, ouch dude, burn

**Pixiefashion: **you tell him Bella

**108yearoldvirgin: **oh sweetie don't be like that…

**Freesia18: **admitthat you wrong in teasing Emmett

**108yearoldvirgin: **never.

**Freesia18: **thenyou're so not getting any, any time soon

**Civil-war-man: **all right then, I think Alice and I are going to go and hunt together or something and leave you two together.

**Pixiefashion: **yeah….bye Bella!

**108yearoldvirgin: **what no goodbye for me pixie?

**Pixiefashion: **nope, stay strong Bella

_**Pixiefashion and civil-war-man have logged out…..**_

**Freesia18: **anything else to say Eddie?

**108yearoldvirgin: **DO NOT CALL ME EDDIE!

**Freesia18: ***tears well up in eyes* did you just yell at me?

**108yearoldvirgin: **oh sweetie, no, I'm so sorry, please don't cry. Please, please, please, please, I'll do anything to make it up to you

**Freesia18: **anything?

**108yearoldvirgin: **yes Bella, baby, anything

**Freesia18: **admit you were wrong about teasing Emmett

**108yearoldvirgin: **anything but that

**Freesia18: **whatever Edward, oh look a pair of scissors, let me take these and use them on my wrists…

**108yearoldvirgin: **Bella no, DO NOT HURT YOURSELF!

**Freesia18: **again with the yelling Edward…..i don't think it would be wise for you to come over tonight…..i don't think you'd be able to stand all the spilled blood

**108yearolfvirgin: **Bella! I am coming over right now!

**Freesia18: ***drip drip* blood falling…

**108yearoldvirgin: **Bella!

_**108yearoldvirgin has logged off…**_

**Freesia18: **mwhahahahahaha. That'll teach you to yell at me Edward Cullen…..

_**Freesia18 has logged off….**_

_**Emmett_the_Great has logged on….**_

**Emmett_the_Great: **Okay, I'm back and I've decided to be the bigger person and forgive

**Emmett_the_Great: **Hey! Where is everyone?

**Emmett_the_Great: **Seriously, you're all gonna play me like this?

**Emmett_the_Great: **Some family you guys are…..

**Emmett_the_Great: **Emmett the Great is all alone…..

**Emmett_the_Great: **SOMEBODYANSWER ME!


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey, thanks to all those who reviewed. I do realize that Rosalie wasn't in the last chapter. I had her screenname there for eeryone to know and i had intended for her to be invovled but after a while i realized she didn't really fit in, but she will be in upcoming chapters. And I don't own twilight, *sad face* but i do own the plot. **

Chapter 2

Twilight Chatroom

Bella: **freesia18**

Edward: **108yearoldvirgin**

Mike: **Newtonator**

Jessica: **Ms.-Newton-Cullen**

Emmett: **Emmett_the_Great**

_**108yearold virgin, Ms.-Newton-Cullen, and Newtonator have logged on…..**_

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **Why hello Edward, miss me?

**108yearoldvirgin: **I'm sorry but do I know you?

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **It's Jessica, from school.

**108yearoldvirgin: **Oh god, I thought I was done with you once we graduated high school.

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **How can you say that? I thought we shared something special.

**Newtonator: **I thought you and I had shared something special on prom night, Jessica.

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **Oh Mike, we did. Didn't you read my screen name? I love you and Edward both.

**Newtonator: **Oh great, another girl I have to share with Cullen….

**108yearoldvirgin: **Okay, since when is Newton in this chatroom? Where are you people coming from, I thought this was for my family? And what do you mean another girl I have to share with Cullen?

**Newtonator: **Oh you know….

**108yearoldvirgin: **No, I don't know Mike, so why don't you tell me!

**Newtonator: **Bella….

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **What! You're both cheating on me with Bella! How could you, I'm so much prettier.

**108yearoldvirgin: **You stay away from Bella, Newton!

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **Can we seriously stop talking about Bella!

**108yearoldvirgin: **she's my girlfriend Jessica, of course I'm going to talk about her

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **When are you going to dump her for me?

**Newtonator: **Bella is going on the market?

**108yearoldvirgin: **let me think Jessica…..

**108yearoldvirgin: **thinking…

**108yearoldvirgin: **thinking….

**108yearoldvirgin: **thinking…

**108yearoldvirgin: **oh yeah, never!

_**Freesia18 has logged on…..**_

**Freesia18: **Hey Edward

**108yearoldvirgin: **hello love

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **Love? You don't love her, you love me!

**Freesia18: **Who's the crazy girl?

**108yearoldvirgin: **Jessica

**Freesia18: **How'd she get here

**Newtonator: **Edward and I have been asking ourselves that

**Freesia18: **And you are?

**108yearoldvirgin: **Mike, unfortunately

**Newtonator: **Hey, what's that suppose to mean!

**108yearoldvirgin: **It means stop fantasizing about my girlfriend!

**Freesia18: **Fiancé, remember?

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **Fiancé? When did this happen? I am not about to be the other women.

**Freesia18: **Seriously Jessica, why are you here?Oh, and your screen name is creepy

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **Jealous?

**108yearoldvirgin: **There's no reason for her to be, you and I aren't going to happen Jessica

**Newtonator: **I second that!

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **I get it boys, you want to play hard to get, I understand. Oh and Edward, what's with the screen name?

**108yearoldvirgin: **Er…typo

**Freesia18: **It was meant to say 18 year old virgin

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **Oh sweetie, I see. Bella isn't giving you what you need. I can fix that

**108yearoldvirgin: ***palm slaps forehead* get it through your head Jessica, we're not going to happen

**Ms.-Newton-Cullen: **Oh Edward, I understand, you don't want to hurt Bella's feelings, call me later. Mike, same for you. *kisses*

_**Ms.-Newton-Cullen has logged out…**_

**Newtonator: **Oh my gosh, that women is seriously delusional

**1008yearoldvirgin: **Go away Mike

**Newtonator: **Whywould I do that? We're having so much fun

**108yearoldvirgin: **Because Bella and I want you gone

**Newtonator: **Is this true Bella?

**Freesia18: **Completely

**Newtonator: **You wound me, but I'll give you what you wish. Bella I'll see you tonight….in my dreams

_**Newtonator has logged out…..**_

**Freesia18: **Okay that boy has seriously lost it

**108yearoldvirgin: **He's really getting on my nerves

**Freesia18: **Oh, you might want to change your screen name, you almost got caught

**108yearoldvirgin: **I know, I was thinking though, we could always do something to make it untrue

**Freesia18: **what?

**Freesia18: **Oh, I get it, that's a dirty mind you've got there Mr. Cullen

**108yearoldvirgin: **you got it love. It's so nice, to be alone isn't it

**Freesia18: **It is….so tell me about your plans to make your screen name untrue….

**108yearoldvirgin: **Now who's naughty?

**Freesia18: ***blushes*

**108yearoldvirgin: **Don't tempt me like that….

**Freesia18: **Wellwe are alone….tell me what you're thinking

**108yearoldvirgin: **It involves a bed...

**108yearoldvirgin: **you….

**108yearoldvirgin: **in a towel…..

**108yearoldvirgin: **wet…..

_**Emmett_the_Great has logged on…**_

**Emmett_the_Great: **hey guys, what we talking about?

**108yearoldvirgin: **Emmett! What are you doing here?

**Emmett_the_Great: **I got nachos all over our bed so Rose kicked me out for the night, so I thought I'd log on

**Freesia18: **Aw, Emmett I'm sorry

**Emmett_the_Great: **Did I interrupt something?

**108yearoldvirgin: ***glares*

**Emmett_the_Great: **I'll take that as a yes

**Freesia18: **Don't worry about it Emmett

**108yearoldvirgin: **How can you say that Bella? Weren't you enjoying our PRIVATE conversation?

**Freesia18: **Of course I was, but that doesn't mean you have to be mean to your brother

**108yearoldvirgin: **Wow, thanks dude, way to cock block me

**Emmett_the_Great: **I'msorry my sexually repressed brother

**108yearoldvirgin: ***glares*

**Freesia18: **Edward it's okay, why don't we finish our conversation at my house, in person. Charlie's going to be at the station all night…..

**108yearoldvirgin: **I'm there

**Emmett_the_Great: **You got bro, get some!

**Freesia18: ***glares*

**Ememett_the_Great: **sorry Bella

**108yearoldvirgin: **I'll be over it a couple minutes Bella, love you

**Freesia18: **Love you too

_**108yearoldvirgin has logged off…..**_

**Emmett_the_Great: **so…

**Freesia18: **so…..

**Emmett_the_Great: Do you like nachos?**

_**Freesia18 has logged off….**_

**Emmett_the_Great: **Hello?

**Emmett_the_Great: **Hello, it was just a simple question!

**Emmett_the_Great: **Hello? Bella?

**Emmett_the_Great: **Why am I always alone!

**(A/N) Ah Emmett, a truly great soul. Like i said different characters will be showing up at different times randomly so I'm wondering who to throw in next. Angela, James, or Jacob. Let me know what you think. **

**And review please!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone, I'm sorry I haven't updated in a while. Life has been hectic.**

**I want to thank everyone who reviewed and hoefully you'll like this chapter. I had fun writing it.**

**As usual, I don't own Twilight, sadly. Enjoy!**

Chapter 3

Twilight Chatroom

Bella: **fressia18**

Edward: **volvoman**

Jasper: **civil-war-man**

Emmett: **Emmett_the_Great**

Rosalie: **2cool4u**

Alice: **pixiefashion**

_**Freesia18, volvoman, 2cool4u, and pixiefashion have logged on…**_

**Freesia18: **Hey all

**Pixiefashion: **Bella! I missed you!

**2cool4u: **Bella…..nice to see you, or talk to you

**Freesia18: **Hiya Rosalie, nice to talk to you too…..its been while

**Volvoman: **Hello love

**Pixiefashion: **Bella, do you know what time it is?

**Freesia18: **um no…..

**Pixiefashion: **It's Bella Barbie time!

**Volvoman: **Um, Alice…..do you really think that's a good idea?

**2cool4u: **I'm with Edward here, Alice, it's only a few days until the wedding, and we all know Bella will have to be subjected to you then, lets give her a couple days of rest before that

**Pixiefashion: ***pouts lip* why are you all ganging up on me

**Freesia18: **Oh Alice, we're not trying to gang up on you….

**2cool4u: **Sure we are, there's no need to sugar coat it

**Volvoman: **Some tact please, Rose

**2cool4u: **Sorry Mr. Turn of the Century

**Pixiefashion: **You're not being very nice today Rose

**Freesia18: **Of course she isn't, she hasn't bee laid in like 4 days

**2cool4u: **How the hell do you know that?

**Volvoman: **yeah, Bella, how do you know that?

**Freesia18: **A little birdie told me….

**Pixiefashion: **And by birdie she means Emmett

**2cool4u: **What! When did he tell you?

**Freesia18: **Um…..

**Volvoman: **Bella…

**Freesia18: **He came over to my house yesterday to see me then broke down on my, sobbing about spilled nachos and Rose kicking him outta bed and how he was so horny and needed to get laid. Then he told me it had been four days

**2cool4u: **He's such a spaz

**Freesia18: **I think you might have hurt his feelings

**Pixiefashion: **that's impossible, Emmett doesn't really take our teasing to heart. He knows that's all it is

**2cool4u: **He's just pissy because, like you said, he hasn't gotten any of late

**Pixiefasion: **unlike our dear brother here…

**2cool4u: **What!

**Volvoman: **What the hell Alice!

**Freesia18: **How did you know that?

**Pixiefashion: **Um, I see the future, remember….

**Freesia18: **Ewe, so you like saw us….doing it?

**2cool4u: **Lovely Alice, you get free porn

**Volvoman: **Rose!

**Freesia18: **seriously Alice, did you like….see us?

**Volvoman: **She better not of

**2cool4u: **I should have known by the change in his screen name

**Pixiefashion: **Nobella, don't worry, I didn't see anything

**Volvoman: **Thank god for small favors

_**Emmett_the_Great and civil-war-man have logged on…..**_

**Emmett_the_Great: **What's up ma party people?

**Civil-war-man: **Hey everyone

**Pixiefashion: **So Emmett, I heard you're sexually repressed

**2cool4u: **And eddie here finally gave away his V car

**Volvoman: **And Alice likes to watch other people get it on

**Civil-wat-man: **Oh wow, what did I miss…

**Emmett-the-Great: **Bellaroo, you told them!

**Freesia18: **Sorry Emmy Bear, it kinda slipped out

**Emmett_the_Great: **I trusted you Belly Button!

**2cool4u: **You never should have told her Emmett McCarthy Cullen!

**Volvoman: **Uh oh! Someone's in trouble now….

**Pixiefashion: **Rose busted out the full name….

**Emmett_the_Great: **I'm sorry Rose I just need you so bad…..you have no idea. I made out with a cheeseburger today!

**Freesia18: **Okay this is getting weird.

**Civil-war-man: **Oh Bella, sweetie, it gets weirder the longer you know Emmett

**Emmett_the_Great: **Oh shut, your wife is a voyeur.

**Pixiefashion: **Hey I resent that. And it's not like I can control what visions come to me.

**Emmett_the_Great: **Mmmhmmm

**2cool4u: **Sure…..

**Pixiefashion: **God, you guys suck. I'm out. Jazz lets go away somewhere for the weekend.

**Civil-war-man: **Works for me

**Pixiefashion: **Bye Bella, I'll call you later

**Fressia18: **Bye Alice, Jasper, I love you guys

**Civil-war-man: **Love you too. Edward, text me later….we got some talking to do.

**Volvoman: **Got it. Have fun.

_**Pixiefashion and civil-war-man have logged off…..**_

**Emmett_the_Great: **So Eddie….you finally became a man! Congrats.

**Volvoman: **First of all DO NOT CALL ME EDDIE. And second, that's none of your business.

**2cool4u: **You would think that after he'd got laid, his temper would be better.

**Emmett_the_Great: **Seriously, Bella should look into getting him anger management classes.

**Freesia18: **Still here you know….

**Emmett_the_Great: **Oh I know….

**2cool4u: **I think I'm going to log off now too, maybe follow Alice and Jasper's idea and get away for a couple days

**Emmett_the_Great: **Can I come Rosie?

**Freesia18: **Ha,dude I can practically picture the puppy dog look on Emmett's face

**Volvoman: **Ha, so can I. All he needs is floppy ears and little pink nose

**Emmett_the_Great: **Stop making fun ofme!

**Volvoman: **Sorry it's just too easy

**2cool4u: **Okay well I'm leaving. Emmett, see you in a few days…

**Emmett_the_great: **No,Rose wait! I can be better I promise! Take me with you!

_**2cool4u has logged off…**_

**Freesia18: **Ouch, burn

**Volvoman: **Sorry dude, that's gotta suck

**Emmett_the_Great: **No I'm going to follow her and make her forgive me

**Freesia18: **Yay, go Emmy Bear!

**Emmett_the_Great: **Thanks Bellaoo. Love ya

**Freesia18: **Aw, love you too big bro

**Volvoman: **What about me do I get any love?

**Emmett_the_Great: **Nope, you were mean *sticks tongue out*

**Volvoman: **Someone's a little immature….

**Emmett_the_Great: **Well I've never….

**Freesia18: **Edward, apologize!

**Volvoman: **Nope.

**Emmett_the_Great: **Itz okay Bella Boo, I'll get him back for it later. Love ya like a sister sister.

_**Emmett_the_Great had logged off…..**_

**Volvoman: **Hey, now that all my brothers and sisters are gone we have the house to ourselves….

**Freesia18: **Ooooo, what do you propose we do….

**Volvoman: **Maybewe can have another day in bed….minus clothes….

**Freesia18: **Sounds tempting….but…

**Volvoman: **but what?

**Freesia18: **But you were an ass to your brother. Next time apologize!

_**Freesia18 has logged off….**_

**Volvoman: **Whatthe hell…..

**Volvoman: **Bella?

**Volvoman: **Bella?

**Volvoman: **God, cockblocked by my brother again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, haven't updated in a while. I have no excuses, but here is another chapter. **

**Don't own Twilight, sad fact of life**

Chapter 4

Twilight Chatroom

Bella: **freesia18**

Edward: **volvoman**

Jasper: **civil-war-man**

Charlie: **fishman47**

Emmett: **Emmett_the_Great**

_**Freesia18, volvoman, and fishman47 have logged on….**_

**Freesia18: **Hey Edward, how about you and I finish that convo from the other day, you know the one where I was in the towel

**Volvoman:** Just say when and where and I'm there baby

**Fishman47:** Something you want to tell me Bella?

**Volvoman:** who is this?

**Fishman47:** It's Charlie son

**Freesia18:** dad….

**Volvoman:** *glups* Chief Swan

**Fishman47:** Do I need to bring out me shotgun?

**Volvoman:** No sir

**Freesia18:** Dad, come on this is embarrassing

**Fishman47:** Come on Bella, you know I'm hip with you kids. I just want to make sure no one disrespects my little girl

_**Emmett_the_Great and Civil-war-man have logged on….**_

**Emmett_the_Great:** What's going on party people?

**Civil-war-man:** Hey Bella, Alice wanted me to tell she needs you for some wedding emergency

**Emmett_the_Great:** who is fishman47?

**Freesia18:** Thank you Jasper, I'll go talk to her now, and Emmett that's my dad

**Volvoman:** I'll talk to you later love

**Freesia18:** Okay, love you

_**Freesia18 has logged off…..**_

**Emmett_the_Great: **What's up Charlie my man?

**Fishman47:** Hello Emmett

**Emmett_the_Great:** Emmett the Great has requested you refer to his as such

**Fishman47:** what?

**Civil-war-man:** It's just something that he does chief. Go with it, it's easier. I'm Jasper by the way

**Fishman47:** Ok then. What are you three planning to do for college?

**Emmett_the_Great:** Emmett the Great doesn't need to go to college, he knows everything

**Fishman47:** I see

**Volvoman:** I'm sorry about him, we found out he was dropped on his head as a child

**Civil-war-man:** I'm planning on studying the civil war down in the south

**Fishman47:** good for you son

**Volvoman:** I think I want to pursue music

**Fishman47:** can you support my daughter as a struggling musician?

**Volvoman:** ummm

**Emmett_the_Great:** Please, S-Chief Eddie boy here has a ton of money, Jelly Belly will never want for anything

**Fishman47:** S-Chief, Jelly Belly?

**Civil-war-man:** Emmett likes to come up with nicknames

**Fishman47: **He should stop

**Volvoman:** That's what we all say

**Emmett_the_Great:** Emmett the Great heard that! And he is offended

**Fishman47:** Does he always talk about himself in third person?

**Civil-war-man:** 97 percent of the time

**Volvoman:** and it never stops getting annoying

**Emmett_the_Great:** No need to be mean Eddie, after all, you don't want me telling the S-Chief how you deflower his baby

**Fishman47:** You did what!

**Volvoman:** *face palm* thanks em

**Fishman47:** You better run and hide boy

**Volvoman:** Catch you guys later

_**Volvoman has logged off….**_

**Fishman47:** Yeah you can run but you can't hide! Don't forget I'm sheriff

**Emmett_the_Great:** You go Papa C!

**Fishman47:** Shut up Emmett, I gotta go polish my gun

_**Fishman47 has logged off….**_

**Civil-war-man:** haha Charlie told you to shut up

**Emmett_the_Great:** Emmett is offended. I can't believe Papa C would say that to me

**Civil-war-man:** it'll be alright em

**Emmett_the_Great:** Thanks Jazz, virtual hug?

_**Civil-war-man has logged off….**_

**Emmett_the_Great:** Jazz?

**Emmett_the_Great**: Jazz?

**Emmett_the_Great:** I want my hug!

**Emmett_the_Great:** You're the only one who gets me cheeseburger


End file.
